What did you say?

It is clear to me that, since the average person spends considerably more time listening than writing, reading, or speaking (Lu, 2005), I must begin to give more attention to improving my listening skills.

As a marketing communications/public relations manager, I regularly communicate with various internal and external audiences. I can better determine the nature of and address their needs if I effectively listen to them. If I “tune out,” I create a barrier that can be quite difficult for me to overcome given the range and complexity of information I handle.

Start by listening
I strongly believe that my success, both professionally and personally, is ultimately dependent on how much I give to others. I ask myself, “What can I do for this person?” The first step to helping another is making a conscious effort to get out of my “self” and really focus on listening. I have to be physically present, as well as emotionally attached. “Failure to listen is probably the cause of more interpersonal problems than any other aspect of human behavior” (Lu, 2005).

Develop the relationship
I then work to develop an interpersonal relationship with that person so we can become comfortable with each other. The relationship will be the foundation for future successful communication and collaboration. In building it, I must continue to effectively listen while following certain rules for doing so. Those rules include, but are not limited to, looking at the other person, asking questions, and being responsive in my mannerisms. (Lu, 2005). Sit upright and be interested. These actions demonstrate reciprocity and show the speaker that I care, which creates trust that helps foster the relationship.

Putting the pieces in place
I work with a medical affairs team whose primary focus is quality standards and the achievement of desirable health outcomes for members of our company’s managed care plan. This team is immersed in complex medical details that need communicated to various external groups. This subject matter is not an area of expertise for me and, quite candidly, I do not find it interesting. I put that bias aside, however, and work to grasp the meaning behind the intended communication so I may better explain it to others. I can not accomplish this if I am absorbed in my “self.” I make a concerted effort to first listen, and then to develop an interpersonal relationship with the medical affairs team so they trust me to communicate on their behalf.

Mutual professional responsibility
I realize it is my responsibility to be an effective listener at work. I also expect a person delivering a message to be accountable by presenting appropriate and applicable information. My expectations are not as high in social settings.

For example, I once spoke to a stranger in the lobby of my building who felt compelled to explain to me the proper way to rake leaves. Although I was not interested, I was somewhat amused and accepted the communication for the social interaction that it was. However, if I am invited to a work meeting and the message in no way applies to me, I am less patient. I receive a great deal of information each day at work. Since I spend the majority of my waking hours listening (Lu, 2005), I expect someone providing a work-related message to be organized and to be sure that the message is relevant to me. Otherwise, I tune out and do not process the information. In those cases, I either daydream or think about other pressing matters that do affect me. The speaker has let me down. As Lu notes, “Incorrectly encoding-decoding can cause significant problems in communication.”

What next?
I will try to pause more often and reflect on how much time I spend listening, and to work each day to improve listening skills. If I “think” about listening, I will “do” it and it will eventually become a “habit” (think-act-habit). There certainly is nothing wrong with becoming a habitual listener!

This becomes more complex when dealing with new communication tools and strategies such as wikis and blogs. Email and instant messaging have paved the way for the reduction in face-to-face communication. Blogs, wikis and other social media will now further take us down that path. We have to be careful that the messages we send using these new tools are clear and concise. That means we should be sure to practice effective listening up front and whenever possible in preparation for related communication using new tools.

Additionally, as we communicate more globally we should also strive to increase our cultural literacy. We should think about our communication at all times and consider how other cultures might interpret it. We can no longer assume that what we say will be heard as it was intended. Once again, get out of “self” and think more about others.



Lu, J (May 2005). The listening style inventory (LSI) as an instrument for improving listening skill. Sino-US English Teaching, 2 (5), 45-50.